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Passenger Paparazzi
No harm, no foul, right?
I never imagined I’d be a rideshare driver in Los Angeles for as long as I have. I’m talking…a long time. Over those many years, inevitably I’ve had conversations. I’ve made friend that live in or are from other countries (Hi Flora, Claire and Theresa!) I’ve gotten photography work from passengers (Hi, Alison!).
Many times, I’ve had deep and meaningful conversations with passengers. Maybe it’s that “taxicab confessional” thing. I said “no harm, no foul” to start this page because, after a while, I couldn’t help but share some of those inspirational stories and conversations I had with passengers. At first, it was a long post to Facebook, and then…I made it visual.
This page highlights the semi-creepy, but faceless images I take of a passenger when they walk away. I’ll take that image and summarize the person’s story or our conversation and share it to Instagram. No one has tattled on me, or reported me yet. In fact, the feedback has been all positive. It’s been a “Humans of NY” kind of thing. “Ubers/Lyfts in LA” I guess.
Click an image to read the post that I once shared to either Facebook or Instagram about a passenger, and their life story that inspired me enough to snap a shot of them. Hopefully this series has an end as I (finally) exit ride share one day. For now, enjoy it as yet another way of me being creative.
November 6, 2024
When I first saw Dale, I didn’t think we’d have anything in common, but looks can be deceiving, don’t judge a book...
He works hard, picking up and delivering clothes for a local dry cleaners 5 days a week, then works overnights at a gas station on weekends. I guess you could say we are both in the pick up and drop off business :) And I certainly remember my overnight weekend shifts at a hotel, a lifetime ago.
We playfully lamented about aging, though he’s 14 years my senior. Stretching and sleeping right, ugh :)
As the conversation grew, our real link was revealed: our mothers. He lost his a few months ago, the same way I did mine 12 years ago: cancer.
I naturally asked him about his mom, and it turns out ours could have been friends. They both had the bug for casinos and enjoyed gambling. Dale’s mom liked spending some time at the slots (as did mine), and Dale told me of the many times he would take his mother to down to San Manuel Casino (now Yaamava’) for a day. I fondly remembered a day my mom and I went up the road to Mohegan Sun.
Dale told me his roulette strategy, and whenever he had a little bit of winnings, he would just use them to buy dinner for his mom dinner and pay for parking. I could hear the love in his voice when he said his mom was always the best date he ever had :)
One thing we didn’t have in common was a sweet story he left me with. Once, for a Mother’s Day weekend, he told his mom he would take her to Las Vegas. When the day arrived, and she was packed and ready, he then told her the whole truth... It turned out that Dale was never going with her, because he and his cousins had pooled their money together to send her and her sisters/their aunts, to stay in Vegas for the weekend and to see Tom Jones perform.
Before we parted ways, I had to ask Dale what the best piece of advice his mother ever gave him was.
“Be kind to everyone. It doesn’t hurt anything to smile, and it doesn’t hurt anything to say hi to somebody.”
I think that’s the perfect sentiment we need these days, and to me...it’s not unusual. (You see what I did there.)
Things in Common
October 15, 2024
I have never met a “Jessica” that isn’t kind. The Jessica I met yesterday kept the streak alive.
She was instantly a burst of positive energy and I couldn’t help but notice she looked a lot like my friend Jessica from high school.
This Jess was particularly hilarious and showed me the items of an embarrassing tiger costume she was making her manager wear for Halloween. Sounds like a fun restaurant ☺️
Jess liked to talk and even admitted she “never stops talking.” Between the laughs, I asked her if she was a comedian or actor and she said no. Very honestly and self aware (and funny) she said, about the talking, “it’s just trauma and anxiety.” To which I said, “yeah, that’s how all comedians make a living!”
Without asking her, she eventually shared some tough things she had gone through, like losing both of her parents in the last 4 years: her dad to a heart attack during Covid, and her mom to cancer in early 2023. If that wasn’t enough, two weeks after her mom passed, her best friend, and proclaimed love of her life, passed away in his sleep at the young age of 31.
Without losing that positivity, she expressed gratitude for how she got through it with the help of close friends. “Your support system may change, but there is always someone that’s there for you.”
Inspiring, and another reminder to never judge. Chatty, too talkative, over top…that could just be someone with a lot of pain doing their best to stay positive.
God bless, Jess 👍🏾🙏🏾
The Talker
September 30, 2024
That’s Scott…
He’s from NJ, but he first said he was from New York City. We had a laugh talking about how people will just claim they are from the big city near where they grew up because that’s easier to do than explain the suburb they are really from.
Scott’s passion is tennis and he was on the way to volley a bit, that’s if “the sun didn’t dry him out too quickly.”
He said his first memory in life is holding a tennis racket and being on a court, not the first day of kindergarten or some other moment, but playing tennis. His mother wanted he and his siblings to learn, so they did.
Scott went on to be a nationally ranked player in college. He said the strength of his game was his quickness, and a solid forehand. His serve was good enough, and his backhand was only okay: never enough to win him point, but it didn’t lose him any either. He never went pro, and I didn’t ask him why, but he didn’t seem like he had regrets or missed out on it as a life path. I told him I couldn’t relate at all, and that my non-existent tennis career ended at about age 13 ☺️
When Scott first got in, his foot got stuck in the door. We also had a laugh about the pros and cons of slide-on shoes. His foot getting stuck seemed like an ignorable occurrence until he later shared that he had suffered a stroke two years ago, one so severe it paralyzed him.
After much rehab, he was finally able to get in and out or cars on his own, and of course, back on the tennis court. This day, he was going to use a hitting machine or volley with anyone that wanted to play with him, it didn’t matter. He kindly said goodbye and urged me to pick up a racket and play tennis again. But it wasn’t just about tennis anymore, was it?
One very small step at a time, I watched Scott head to play the sport he loves.
What’s your passion? What’s that one thing you can’t live without? And what are you willing to fight through just to keep doing it… even if you can’t it do as well as you did before?
Thanks for the example and lesson, Scott. 🎾
The Tennis Player
September 24, 2024
I try not to share about grief and loss as much anymore, because it stared to become a caricature of who I am, instead of an experience I’ve grown from and worked through. It makes people think I’m “not okay,” and doesn’t leave room for me to be seen as…actually being okay.
But, I can’t help but share K’s story from earlier today. One lesson I’ve learned over the years is that my story is not unique. Someone has always gone through the same pain. Today, I related to K (keeping her full name out). Earlier this year, she suffered two losses back to back. Her father had been sick in the hospital for months. Upon an east coast visit to see him, she went to dinner with her step mother, who…suddenly died…during that dinner.
If that wasn’t enough, her husband of 18 years passed away a month ago.
I was speechless, but eventually shared my story of losing my granddad and mom within six months of each other.
K admitted she’s still in shock. The next step is spreading her husband’s ashes at Big Sur and then…”we’ll see what’s next.”
She shared about her life with him, meeting him online ☺️ and how he had a limited emotional range, never too expressive, but she figured that out right away and it made him funny without him even knowing it.
Then, she lit up telling me what was on her mind keeping her busy. She had a screenplay idea for a TV series. I didn’t see that coming. She felt like the corporate type, not an artist, and that turned out to be true. She was a former executive at a major studio you’ve heard of. She also lived in Central and South America for years. Her time there is inspiring her great idea that I wouldn’t dare say here.
A woman after my own heart. Using art to heal and stay focused in the midst of grief. Sharing this one feels too personal, but my intent is never to out strangers, just honor them and tell the world I was inspired by them.
Godspeed, K. Send your husband off well, and I hope you keep writing.
K
September 3, 2024
There’s Linda…
She was born and raised in Minnesota and worked as a dental hygienist for 40 years and was, ironically, going to the dentist this AM.
Her retirement sounds like a dream. She spends half the year with her daughter in MN and the other half with her son in L.A. She has grandkids to spoil in both states and told me about the happy surrender she’s done to be on her 2 year old grandson’s sleep schedule ☺️
We spoke a little politics and race and about MN and George Floyd in 2020. That led to her sharing about her late husband, who was Black. She said how back in the 70s when they started their family, they never faced any troubles raising their kids and being in public as a family. Say what you will, but MN sounds pretty nice.
Linda gushed about her kids and the service work they both do with the Boys and Girls Club and in public housing. She raised some good eggs.
I couldn’t help but ask her how she met her husband and she lit up to tell the story. “For my religious friends I say I met him at church, but the truth was…” The setting was a college bar called, The Caboose. It was a Sunday night, and he approached (her, not her friend who was “the more outgoing type”) and asked her to dance to a John Ellison song.
Pretty adorable how she giggled telling it because she thought it was scandalous to meet him at a bar on a Sunday ☺️
Good vibes, Linda. Happy Thursday to all.
Linda